So we at the Dove team have heard your cries. “My ID is too shiny!” you screech at the top of your autistic lungs. Well I’ve got a solution for you! Now introducing the official “Dove’s ID Sauce”. With our patented blend a special legume oil and plant materials, we have created a product that will help remove the shininess that comes on those pesky, low quality gloss laminates out there. Follow our simple intrusions on the side, and nobody will even think of using the chew test. Our patented blend of all natural ingredients is a sure fire way to take your ID from a 5/10 to a full 10/10 in just a few minutes. We’re auctioning off our first jar of this revolutionary formula at a starting bid of $5 plus shipping and handling.